Careful What You Wish For
Well, ladies, it happened. I got the internship placement I wanted. It's not officially official - I think I won't REALLY believe it until I'm actually standing in front of a classroom -but I came home yesterday to an email from a coordinator who gave me the green light to take the contract to my team teacher. I'll be driving over there next Wednesday, provided I don't need sled dogs to get there (but that's a different blog...)
I feel a mixture of extreme relief and vindication, wild excitement, and abject panic. I really want this internship experience - this is as close as I've ever been to my goal of teaching Deaf kids and I'm thrilled that it's happening. I'm glad that at least one someone over in the UNH bureaucracy was able to see how my coloring outside the lines can be a GOOD thing - not only for me, but also for the University. The abject panic comes in with wondering if I'm going to be able to learn enough language in six months to at least get me started on effective communication with my students, the fact that the school is 50 minutes from home and works on a different break schedule (not to mention snow days) and, my GOD, am I really going to be able to do this?!
I feel a mixture of extreme relief and vindication, wild excitement, and abject panic. I really want this internship experience - this is as close as I've ever been to my goal of teaching Deaf kids and I'm thrilled that it's happening. I'm glad that at least one someone over in the UNH bureaucracy was able to see how my coloring outside the lines can be a GOOD thing - not only for me, but also for the University. The abject panic comes in with wondering if I'm going to be able to learn enough language in six months to at least get me started on effective communication with my students, the fact that the school is 50 minutes from home and works on a different break schedule (not to mention snow days) and, my GOD, am I really going to be able to do this?!
posted by Mrs. Chili at 3/12/2005 07:16:00 AM
1 Comments:
You know, I'm feeling exactly the same way about my new job. I wished for something simpler, something with more down time, something where I could have plenty of time and brain space to work on what I really love and I seem to have gotten it. But I'm somehow paralyzed about taking advantage of it. Keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the "real" job to start, for the yelling and the pushing and the taking advantage. Something in me can't believe I got what I wanted. Very odd phenomenon. Why do we do this to ourselves?
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