The Mommy Driveby

I read a lot of blogs. You ladies know this. Many of them are written by mothers or mothers-to-be or mothers who want to be and can't. I don't know how I got hooked into that type of blog but many of the famous ones are like that.

Anyway, this isn't about my proclivites, it's about a thing that caused a hubbub on these blogs a week or so ago - the Mommy Driveby. It's when someone (often a mother, too) says something wildly inappropriate and largely unsolicited about one's mothering choices. I think that we should actually rename them MommyING Drivebys because once you pass a certain age people feel free to comment on whether or not one is mothering, too.

Here's the entry that started all the discussion:
http://chezmiscarriage.blogs.com/chezmiscarriage/2005/02/todays_guest_bl.html

I bet we all have a story about something like this. Of course, now that I've said that I can't think of one but I know that I have them. I also know that I've probably comitted one or 2 and for that I'm truly sorry, sometimes the filter is off and the thought process is unfinished when the gums begin to flap.

The one I dislike is when I'm told I "just can't understand" because I don't have kids of my own and I'll never know until there's someone on earth with my DNA. Which is oddly irrefutable because until such a thing happens I won't know how it feels so I can't scientifically compare. Yet, what about adoptive parents? Fosters? Steps? I'm pretty sure those people have valid parenting feelings so why not me?